It’s not about religion.

Let’s just get that straight out of the way right now, since it’s the first question asked anyways. It certainly was the first question asked when I woke up in my first year dorm room at 18 to find our male next-door neighbor crawling into my bed. His response when I answered no to this question?

“You should have said yes. Then I might have left.”

But it’s not. About religion, I mean. Because in every sense of the word I am very liberal. Ha, okay maybe not in EVERY sense of the word, or otherwise this blog would probably not exist. At least, not as it is right now.

So if it’s not about religion, what is it about? Hell, if I know. I didn’t exactly wake up one day and decide to dabble in celibacy. Who would willingly DO such a thing? Crap, I’m showing my religious liberalism again, aren’t I? Please, if you are a nun, do not take offense to this blog. And I have to concede that I have had every possible chance to change my particular situation. And I am not saying this, as so many do, to defend their virginity and likeability by saying that I am so attractive and it is all my choice and I could have any guy I want. Because, hello? I am a straight female. Of COURSE I could have any guy I want for a one-night stand. Arguably there is no straight female alive who COULDN’T get any guy they wanted for a one-night stand. This much goes without saying. So therefore I feel no real desire when people find out about my, ahem, situation, to justify myself by assuring them that this is by my choice. Let’s not insult their intelligence. Of COURSE it’s by my choice.

And while we’re heading down this road of what other people do and think, let me assure you that it is very against who I am to preach or persuade you that my way is the right way. Because, again, let’s not insult anyone’s intelligence. I don’t suppose for a second that my way is the high way. I have, after all, been reading harlequins and chick lit (otherwise known to some as “book porn”) since a very tender young age. I went to university, I lived in residence, I KNOW my way is not the best way. At least, not for the majority of human beings. I am, myself, just somewhat of a lemon. (Should I mention that self-deprecation is my favourite form of humour. This is why I love Meg Cabot so much. And I do say love in a purely platonic way. Let’s reiterate that I am a straight female.)

So if this blog is neither to complain, persuade or justify, what the heck am I writing it for? I’m not entirely sure. Mostly it’s because I woke up after a friends wedding with a cranky, headachy hangover and my friend Lia said that she had come up with the most brilliant idea: that I should blog about my crazy, messed up decision to not jump into the sack with just any guy. Which of course, made the little hangover monster in my head snarl, “why the hell would anyone want to read about THAT?” while my inner narcissist thought that writing solely about myself would be oodles of fun. As long as, of course, nobody (with the exception of my new found “manager”, Lia) knows my real name. So there you have it, this blog in a nutshell. Welcome to the boring, misguided and otherwise entirely delicious blog of (obvious pen name here) Bryony Swenson.